sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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