That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
