I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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