I wanna passion pit in your ass
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
