yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
