M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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