Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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