I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
