I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
