bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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