Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
