I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
