Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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