If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
