Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
