You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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