Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
