I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize