I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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