ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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