Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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