He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
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