NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I AM VODKA MAN
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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