dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
