the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you would pick up someone in the library
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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