come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
