He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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