I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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