I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
