i permit you to call me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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