He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
