do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
