She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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