I met the friendliest cop last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize