Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
