My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I party with great urgency now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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