Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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