I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
