Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
