problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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