I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize