Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
