I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
