i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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