I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize