Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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