the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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