I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize