All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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