so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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