wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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