It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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