I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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