i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
