I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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