C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
