Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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