I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
