ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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