Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
