its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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